I have observed that there are three stages in a woman’s sex drive. Assume this is part II of “Why women don’t like sex”. While men have only one stage. It starts on the day they feel an urge to spread their genes. It never stops. Ever. Women have nothing to spread, only receive and nurture. One can understand that they will be very picky with what they recieve, since they are responsible for spending huge amounts of energy and time on nurturing. So when the time is right, conditions are favourable, sex drive takes a boost. If you are the lucky one you are given a little dopamine fix. Just don’t be greedy though.
Women have three stages. They are controlled by two basic instincts, the first is to procreate and capture the male’s precious genes (not that they like the content) and the second is to create an environment that nurtures their offspring. I think in women there is a much higher sense of permanence of change and responsibility in having children than in men. Not that men are irresponsible, but over millions of years females nurture, not males and that instinct, or train of thought still resides unconsciously. Anyway, let me continue the diatribe.
The first stage
So the first stage is discovery and then exploration. Whenever that starts it’s as strong as boys, but more controlled and introverted. I think in most there is a bigger fight not to let the demon out. Boys tend to think where the fuck is the demon, come here my friend.
So early on the only reason for sex is because it’s new and feels good. The amount of receptors for dopamine and concentration of dopamine are high. The thrill of the first time, exploration and new senses is just awesome. Once dilution sets in, the increase in dopamine with each engagement drops a little and other evolutionary urges sets in to drive the sex lust.
So the first stage is nothing much other than newness. And it can persist even at an older age when someone new comes around and you fall in love. Same drive. Exploration and discovery.
Bear in mind guys, this is as good as it gets.
The second stage
Unfortunately this is where men are lured into false love and promises of eternal pleasure. The second stage is driven by the urge to procreate. That is one of the fundamental purposes for being intimate. The other is security. To Have a baby is a fundamental force engraved in our being. Just read Richard Dawkins book the Selfish Gene. Men just want to shoot around the house. Maybe that is why they like hunting so much.
Don’t be fooled guys. You’re not that attractive. Your physical presence means nothing. And please don’t show off your morning boner. It’s wasted if shown. It’s not going to make her want you more at all. As a matter of fact, ask a couple of women and all will say it’s gross. So ladies, if you think a man’s boner is gross, why the heck do you want a gross thing inside you? What is the motivation. What drives you to accept it. Do you want to tell me you are aroused by something gross.
According to Mary Rouch in her book, What do Women Want, they showed some women a guy with an erect thingamajig walking on the beach. In each women was a moisture probe, and apparently some women showed signs of increase in humidity down there. Wow that is good news, but I assume these participants were all part of the “early adopters”, which is less than 2.5% of the population. Good luck finding them around. The average women would never willingly participate in such a research project, let alone allow a crazy scientist shoving a cold non vibrating probe in her privates. You really have to be either a nymph or patriotic.
Third stage and the death of sex
There comes a stage in life that you cannot have babies anymore. So what reason is there then to have sex. Well, there is, the only reason to have it is to keep the male with you at all times. That in nature means protection and in our modern society stability for the offspring. I’m not saying there are women that don’t earn enough to support the whole family, I’m saying the genetic urge to keep the male happy is genetic. Sex is a job. The pleasure of the act is the promise of stability. Of keeping him in the tribe. It is not the physical enjoyment that the male gets. It’s mental or emotional. The emotional security is the pleasure gained.
It is easy to see that this is the truth by looking at statistics. How many women get married again after 50 compared to men. Women are more likely to be happy with a companion than a mate. It’s because the sex is not important. Sex is not a thing at that age. For men it is always a thing, unless you have a limp dick or hormone imbalance. Then you fall into the medical category that does not count.
It just would be great if women would have the interest, curiosity and creativeness in their partners without having a reason to do it.
I don’t claim the death of sex after 50. Quite the contrary, many people prefer it (especially women I guess) as there is no pressure to fulfill a natural cause.