NICKNAME. If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and Seán go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild man.

EATING OUT. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Seán will each throw in R100, even though it’s only for R182.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY. A man will pay R20 for a R10 item he needs. A woman will pay R10 for a R20 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!”