Women need sex like fish need bicycles

Women need sex like fish need bicycles. From a man’s perspective, it is what it is. The statement as in the heading is to the dismay for so many men. Albeit not true, but in defence of man’s insecurity over their own sexuality and guilt over their own lust, that is what they think after going down all the wrong alleys.

 Don’t fool yourself if you think I am writing this article from a man’s point of view (that’s a contradiction in terms if you have ever heard one, at least I’m trying). Relationships are 50/50, and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Things are actually 50/50 since both don’t understand the other. Both camps are not getting enough or in the right way. 

The problem is not that there is no direct line from Mars to Venus, the problem is that no-one, not even scientists, have come close to Venus. Everyone is targeting Mars because it is so much simpler. We all tend to focus on problems that are easy to solve, so too scientists, and believe me, many have studied Venus.(Read about all the studies that have been done over the years as described by Mary Roach in Bonk The Curious Coupling of Sex and Science).

The problem is not the problem. The Problem is your attitude towards the problem

Jack Sparrow

So what is the conclusion, well, women are very similar to the duality of light. They are either particles or waves but they act like both. In one situation they are particles and if the situation suits them they act like waves. They don’t know what they are at any point in time. But it is not the point to know in what state you are, because it does not matter.  If light behaves like a particle can you see it is different when behaving like a wave? No you cannot.

The point is (all men shout), is there is no Viagra for women!

I know there isn’t, actually there was, but it made women sick, so now there isn’t. It is not so easy for woman, and I know it is frustrating. So have a little empathy. There is a reason why men have a button that says “START”, just like some modern cars (No keys required). To start Venus you require two people, one cranking the sling in front of the engine (like the Model T Ford….no correlation though) and the other yearningly prodding and pulling all sorts of buttons and levers inside.

There is a good reason for the difference, and it can be found in our genes, our selfish genes as explained by Richard Dawkins in his epic book The Selfish Gene. In our evolutionary history males (humans), are responsible for spreading our genes. The females nurtured them and were very selective when and from who she got them. In the wild there is often not much time and we are designed for speed. That’s where the 30 second joke comes from. But it is essential because in the wild your’re dinner on the 31st second. Get my drift. But the female specie has all the time and all the pleasure on their side.  Women don’t end in an explosion, I wouldn’t know, but I can imagine it is a joy ride from one epic high to a relieved and relaxing low (I am informed this is not true, but I am opinionated).

The end of the evolutionary ritual is duly accepted by Lorenzo de’ Medici which has left the building. Flaccidly satisfied and inherently ashamed that he could not last longer. Meanwhile the French Princess slowly surfaces from delirious ravishment by Lorenzo and she can only remember him as Michelangelo that sculpted him in Florence. She does not see his inaptitude. It matters not to Michelangelo nor the Princess that he had so poor a subject for a statue. She makes no attempt to correct his real portrait in her mind. The insignificant Lorenzo is transformed by the magic of his love into a hero. She sees him sitting just like a king sits in this attitude (as in the sculpture) when, in the midst of his army, he orders the execution of some judicial act, like the destruction of a city.

If only he knew it.

But he does not.

Unless he is willing to open up and accept who he is, will he understand that fish belong in the sea.

The Princess seas her lover as: “A king sits in this attitude when, in the midst of his army, he orders the execution of some judicial act, like the destruction of a city”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *